"it's in the details"
Friday, October 09, 2009
NOTE: This is actually the first proposed post of my new blog entitled How I Got Over. It's still in development. Check back here for the Details (zing!).
While perusing the October issue of Details, my friend and roommate started asking me a series of questions which I responded to. Unfortunately, I soon realized that I was confirming my existence as a "pretentious tool". Thankfully, I don't put too much stock in what an intern at Details thinks, but I thought it was kind of funny. Others haven't taken it so lightly. In The Globe and Mail, Russell Smith used the piece as an excuse to chime in with the ever popular gender debate. Anyways, here are my reactions to some of Details pretentiousness indicators.
"You think about the lighting in restaurants."
When I was 10, my mother took me to Outback Steakhouse and it was dark as Yinka Dare. I couldn't read the menu and I let it be known, word to Tim Hardaway.
"You want to go to Japan for the shopping."
Kind of true. Indeed, Japan has a lot of exclusives from labels that you'd think would break off a piece for their U.S. based consumers. Levis, Nike, North Face, Vans, and shit, even Lee withholds goods and saves them for the Japanese. We took Dragonball Z and they got fashion exclusives. Damn.
"You invest in vinyl."
DJ Premier, ?uestlove, and all you non-iTunes DJs, you are pretentious c/o Details.
"You think Zach Galifianakis is just so funny."
Honestly, I didn't even know who Zach Galifianakis was until The Hangover, but yes, he was the highlight of the film. I can easily admit that I'm a) waiting for the blu-ray and b) anticipating The Hangover 2. The Ecstasy toast, epic.
"You miss the warmth of 35mm film."
I use my iPhone to take pictures. I don't miss anything. Cameras, we off that.
"You can name an architect who isn't one of the Franks."
This one is easy. If you've been to Dulles Airport (DC), you should be able to name drop Eero Saarinen. Right?
"You’re a Facebook fan of a food cart or truck."
I am a Twitter follower of Sweetflow Mobile. I don't see anything wrong with knowing the location of mobile frozen yogurt. If you are in LA, you have to know where Kogi is. If you are in DC, you have to know where the Fojol Bros. are. You just have to.
What? Where else should you write notes? Mead notepad? Napkin? Hand?
"You know this great little tapas place."
So, does that mean tapas are now pretentious? Over the last year, we've been needling molecular gastronomy. It's about time we moved on to something else. By the way, Columbia Firehouse in Old Town has a nice small plates menu.
"You use periods instead of dashes in phone numbers."
Stylistically, periods are better than dashes. It's called being with the times, try it.
"You have a thing for typefaces."
I bet the design team at Details weren't too thrilled to lay this piece out.
"You photograph your food."
Guilty! Seriously, I only photography food when it's a special occasion, I am traveling, or if it just looks like something that should be memorable. I wanted to start a food blog, back up now.
"Your favorite late-night host is Craig Ferguson."
This one was unexpected. I figured Details would have picked Jimmy Fallon because he has that "I just woke up and suited up" look and he's backed by The Roots.
"You think the only acceptable fast food is In-N-Out."
Let's be reality. Chic-Fil-A, Five Guys, and Shake Shack are equal or better than In-N-Out. In fact, there is no better fast food experience than a clump of breading from a Chic-Fil-A sandwich.
"You listen to Grizzly Bear."
Get with the program, "While You Wait for the Others" is an incredible piece of music. I'll give Details a little leeway on this though because I don't know what a Veckatimest is.
"You frequent a bar without signage."
Frankly, the only bar that I "frequent" is Sticky Rice on H St and it has a sign. On the other hand, I enjoy Hell Burger in Arlington and it's devoid of a sign. Wait. This one is just dumb.
"You have a favorite animated documentary."
There are animated documentaries? Okay, that fellow is a pretentious tool.
"Saying 'off that' after things you aren't currently in to."
I'm just kidding. That wasn't one of things, but I own up to this and offer it up as a pretentiousness indicator. Hov knows what I'm talking about, "Whatever you about to discover, we off that."